Back to New York

Kodi Witty — Back to New York

Hi. [chuckles] So, this summer, I moved back to New York from Virginia. My mom, she made this decision. She was like, ​“That’s it, I’m leaving your dad. We’re going back to New York. Whoever wants to come with me can come with me.” At this point, I’m like, ​“Yes, we’re moving back to New York.” It’s my chance to hold onto this and grab it. It ended up being me, my mom, and my little brother, Phoenix. 

This time, we arrived in New York with no place to go. My mom’s plan was to live in a shelter. She didn’t want to go by anybody, because she didn’t want to feel obligated to anyone or let someone else take on her problems. So, she was determined to go through the shelter. We went through this whole progress to get placed into a shelter. Thank God, we got placed into a shelter.

We were exhausted, tired. I remember the first time we stepped into the shelter, me and my little brother, we stopped for a second and looked around. It was unusual to us, and we didn’t know where the heck we was at. He was 7 at the time and I was 15 at the time. We looked at each other and we connected instantly. My mother noticed that me and him were making these ugly face expressions, so she was like, ​“Guys, I understand. We’ll just have to stick it out.”

The next morning, we woke up straight to business. We had to meet with a caseworker, and the caseworker told us, ​“In order to stay in a shelter, you have to attend these appointments.” We had doctor’s appointments, dentist appointments, ​“And meet with our caseworker daily.” We did this throughout the whole month of August.

Now, school is on its way. Nobody knows I’m back. I’m happy. I’m excited for my first day of school, because I was there my freshman year, and I was like a superstar. I was vice president and had everything going for me. When I left the first time, it just all went downhill. So, I was happy to return. I arrived, and everybody’s like, ​“Kodi, Kodi, you’re back.” I’m like, ​“Yeah, I’m back.” [audience laughter]

So, our first week, me and my little brother, Phoenix, our first week of school is great, but I start to notice a change in my mother. The weekend comes, she’s looking a little depressed and down, moping around, and then she says, ​“I can’t do it anymore. We’re going back to Virginia.” At this point, I’m like, ​“What?” In my head, my imagination is running wild. I’m like, ​“No, we cannot go back to Virginia.” So, I blurt out, ​“I’m not going back with you.” And she was like, ​“What? Who do you think you talking to? You’re going back with me.” I was like, ​“No, I’m not.” And she’s like, ​“Kodi, I don’t want to hear another word out of you. You’re going back. That’s it. We’re packing our stuff in the morning and get ready. So, go.”

I’m not disrespectful to my mother, but at that point, I needed my voice to be heard. So, that night, I let my voice be heard. We got into this big argument about me staying or going. I told my mom, ​“Do what you have to do.” The next morning, we’re packing up, it’s silence. My little brother is confused. He don’t know what’s going on between me and my mom. I know my mom is waiting to say something. I know my mother. I’m like, ​“Mommy, is there anybody I can stay by? Can I stay by your friend, my auntie?” and then I blurt out, ​“My grandma?” And she’s like, ​“No, I am not on good terms with your grandmother. So, that’s out of the picture.” I’m like, ​“Please, I really want to stay in New York. Why can’t I stay by her?” And she said, ​“I’m not going to say it again. You’re not staying by your grandmother.”

My grandma and my mother didn’t really have this good relationship at the time. And if my grandmother knew that her grandchildren were in a shelter, she would have been ballistic. So, a few minutes later, my mom’s like, ​“Okay, you really want to stay in New York? Call your grandmother up. Call your grandmother up.” We planned my runaway. I called my grandma, I’m crying hysterically, and I’m like, ​“Grandma, Mommy’s going back to Virginia. I don’t want to go back. Can I stay with you?” And she’s like, ​“Kodi, Kodi, calm down. Yes, you can stay with me, but under one condition. I have rules and you must obey them.” I’m like, ​“Okay, Grandma, I’ll obey your rules.” And she’s like, ​“Okay, good. Be ready by 7 o’clock, so I can come and pick you up.” I’m like, ​“All right.”

The next morning, I help my mom take everything out of the shelter, and it’s time for me to go. My grandma, auntie arrive, and she’s like, ​“Okay, Kodi, time to go now.” I give my brother a little hug, and he’s still looking confused for the past two nights. My mom, it’s time to give her a hug. And when I give my mom a hug, she’s silent. As I hugged my mother, she began to cry. And all her emotions poured into me, and I was like, ​“Mommy, please don’t cry.” I didn’t want to cry, because I don’t like seeing my mother cry. So, I just rushed my hug and I was like, ​“Okay, bye.” I go in the car. I don’t look back.

My aunt drives around the block twice. I don’t understand why she did that. But the second time, I look out through the back window and I see my mom. She’s crying, her head is in her hands, and my little brother’s patting her back to comfort her. At this point, in my head, I’m like, ​“I’m sorry, Mommy.” So, I had to choose between my dream and breaking my mother’s heart. I chose my dream, because I know New York was the place where I needed to be. And everything that I’m doing now, I hope it’s healing my mother’s heart. Thank you.