Amena Brown — Blind Sided — Amena Brown

And actually, we only have nine storytellers in the back tonight. So this is our final storyteller for the evening. So put some energy in the air for Amina Brown. Coming on down, Amina Brown.

This year makes 12 years since I introduced my now husband to my grandmother. He was my boyfriend then. And I had never brought a man home to meet my family. So my mom, my grandmother, and my sister knew that this was a very big deal. I’m also bringing a tall white man with red hair home. This is a very big deal. I mistakenly leave my boyfriend in the living room with my grandmother while I’m in the kitchen doing all the things with my mom and my sister.

And when I come back, I can’t hear what my grandma’s saying. All I see is her doing this with her bra straps. And I’m just like, why would you be doing that, talking to my boyfriend? But when I get closer, I realize they’re in a conversation about swimming. And my boyfriend is telling my grandma how he loves to work out by swimming, and she’s like, oh, I try to get these girls to learn how to swim, and they won’t never learn. And me, I would learn, but, you know, I’m top heavy, and I would need a swimsuit that would have wide straps so it could really hold me in, you know?

And my boyfriend says, Grandma, let me know if you ever find that swimsuit. I don’t mind taking you out to the pool or something. I could show you how to float. And she said, oh, man.

After we got engaged, I go to visit my grandmother. And she says, come sit down. I got some advice, some relationship advice. And I’m like, please, tell me whatever this is. And she says, I want you to remember, don’t kiss Matt too hard.

At this point of the story, I’m having to decide, do I want to know why my grandma’s telling me not to kiss my then fiance too hard, but I’m too nosy, so I say go on. Make sure you don’t kiss him too hard, Nina, because you know white people bruise easy. At this point, I don’t know if you’ve seen the color purple. But at this point, my mother is running towards the kitchen with the same energy.

Suge Avery is running towards Celie when Celie went to shave Mr. And Suge Avery thought that Celie was going to kill Mr. But my mom thought that my grandma was going to really tell me something that maybe we can’t unheal. So my mom runs, runs, runs, gets to the kitchen. Mom, listen, you don’t need to tell Mina how hard she can kiss Matt or not. They’re about to get married. You don’t need to worry about that. At this point, my grandma says, will you tell Mina to watch it right here?

Anyways, so… By the time Matt and I get married, I realize my grandmother and my now husband have developed this very chummy relationship that apparently began with a wide strap swimsuit conversation, further developed to my grandmother noticing a mark I left on my fiance.

I don’t know the vibes there. And now my grandmother is very concerned about Matt all the time. I come to her and tell her that I’ve just returned from the mall. Here is the dress I purchased. Here is what I had for lunch. That sounds wonderful, Mina. What’d you get for Matt?

Oh, that sandwich sounds like it was delicious. Did you buy Matt something? And it is a wonderful and unfortunate thing in your life when you feel like you have to sort of keep an eye on your grandmother because she might steal your man.

The last moment I had with my grandmother was about my brother-in-law, who is my husband’s younger brother, also a tall, red-headed white man, came to our home this Thanksgiving. My grandmother walks right up to him, squeezes his bicep, looks at his wife and says, hmm, you made a man out of him?

And my sister-in-law had a moment where, it’s like a couple of thoughts cross her mind, right? Like the first thought is like, wait, what? But then the second thought was actually like pride, you know? Like I think something came across her mind like, maybe I did make a man out of him. And as soon As my grandmother walked away, I turned to my sister-in-law and I said, she’s sweet, but watch her.