From Hungary with Love

Thank you. So, when I graduated college, I didn’t want to work. [audience laughter] I just didn’t want a job. So, I did what I thought at the time was the smartest thing possible. [coughs] Excuse me. And that was to go teach English in a rural town in Hungary about 30 minutes from Romania by myself. Yeah, I didn’t know why no one else applied for the position. [audience laughter] I just thought I was a really good applicant. [audience laughter] 

So, I arrived there. When I was in the car from the airport to the village, the coordinator, who her name was Kata, she was explaining to me what was going on. She’s like, ​“So, you’re the only American I’m hoping in the village.” And I was like, ​“Oh, that’s cool. I’d love to meet a lot of different people. Who else is going to be there?” She was like, ​“Oh no, I’m sorry, I misspoke. You’re the only foreigner who’s going to be in the village. Just going to be you and 1,500 Hungarians.” [audience laughter] And so, I was like, ​“Great immersion. [audience laughter] That’s a hot thing. I don’t speak Hungarian, so probably learn a lot. [audience laughter] 

So, we get there and I settle into my apartment which turns out to be a small little room attached to the schoolhouse where I’ll be teaching. I share a wall with the teachers, like lounge, teacher’s lounge. In the teacher’s lounge are 40 middle-aged women who arrive about 05:30 in the morning and have really, really loud conversations about, I guess what happened the night before or dreams they had. [audience laughter] I can’t imagine what happened. So much happened since when they left the day before. [audience laughter] 

So, I wasn’t getting a lot of sleep. Every time I left my apartment, I was just stared at. Hungary is not a homogenous society, it looks wise, but it’s 1,500 people, and they know who the American guy is who’s here to teach. So, I’m just constantly getting stares. I feel really weird. I feel really separated. So, for my first couple of weeks, I go and do the classes, and I pretty much spend my time in my apartment discovering the world of Hungarian beer and wine and [audience laughter] figuring out how to get the BBC on my TV.

So, I’m not feeling great about my decision at this point. But the weekend after the second week, they had a school fundraiser at the local restaurant, which was basically a big function hall, a leftover building from the Communist bloc era. It’s all concrete, but they strung up a bunch of flyers, and they made it this big thing. So, I went to it. And Kata, the coordinator, quickly informs me that I’m the guest of honor for the night. [audience laughter] And so, what that means– In various countries, I’m sure it means different things. In Hungary, that means every three to six minutes, someone will come by and do a shot with you. [audience laughter] And so, it’s a little bit like college. [audience laughter] And so, I don’t want to be rude, so I do a lot of shots with different people in my role as guest of honor. 

So, the night goes on, and I’m feeling a little more comfortable because I’m pretty drunk. And then, the music starts. So, some of my students get up and do some traditional dance while a band plays. And it’s great. We’re all dancing a little bit. And then, Kata turns to me, and she says, ​“They want you to sing.” [audience laughter] And I was like, ​“Oh, well, I’m not really a singer. I don’t really sing.” They’re like, ​“No, no, no, no, you have to sing.” And I was like, ​“I have to sing. Okay. So, I will.” [audience laughter]

So, I get up into the stage area, and they hand me a mic. I’ve got a fair amount of courage at this point just from what I’ve been consuming. And so, a song comes on. But just the backing track to the song comes on, and it’s Louis Armstrong’s What a Wonderful World. I don’t know how many of you listened to that song a lot in high school and college, but I didn’t listen to it very much. [audience laughter] Just busy with other stuff. [audience laughter] So, I definitely knew the tune in my head, but the words were very few and far between. [audience laughter] But I just started into it, because I had a lot to drink at this point. 

So, I said, ​“The colors of the Rainbow are pretty and bright. [audience laughter] They’re not my favorite colors, [audience laughter] but that’s alright. [audience laughter] And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.” [audience laughter] Everyone in the place stands up and a round of applause that I have never seen before in my life. [audience laughter] 300 people stand and start applauding me. And in that instance, I realized two things. One, I’m not a stranger in this land. I am a celebrity. [audience laughter] And two, no one here speaks English [audience laughter] at all. So, then I just go for it. [audience laughter] 

“I see Ninja Turtles fight [audience laughter] with nunchucks and bows [audience laughs] They’ll kill the foot, as I already know. [audience laughter] And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.” [audience laughter] [audience cheers and applause] 

Much like this. Much like this. I feel like I’m back there right now. And I don’t stop there. [audience laughter] ​“I hear my sister fart. We’re in church. She gets in big trouble, but I still get dessert. [Audience laughter] And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.”