First Kiss for Bisi

So, this wouldn’t be your usual first time. It’s not like the first time you had a kiss, the first time you had your prom party or the first time you met your boyfriend or the girlfriend. But this was my special first time. I was 18. And two weeks before then, my friend came to my house and informed me that they’ve been to this party and that I needed to be there. And I was like, ​“What’s it about?” He said, ​“Well, you need to see for yourself.” 

Before this time, I’ve practically experimented with being heterosexual. You know, I was 18, I was growing up, everybody around me had got a girlfriend. I think it was the coolest thing to do. So, I need to have a girlfriend. [audience laughter] Despite the fact that for two years, I never did anything with my girlfriend. [audience laughter] The first time I kissed her, I had a feeling I actually passed out. [audience laughter] So, it wasn’t really like– It wasn’t really my forte. [audience laughter] 

So, when my friend asked us to say, ​“Okay, you need to be at this party,” they know I need to be at that party, because they knew quite well the secret nobody knew. So, it was fun. We went. I got dressed, they came to my house, we were excited. We took a cab and we went to this party. Now, growing up in Nigeria isn’t funny. If ever you’ll be damned that you have feeling for men, you’re in trouble. So, I had to deal with that fact by having girlfriends. So, do you understand where my girlfriend didn’t come from and why I couldn’t kiss a girl? 

And so, we went and we got there. And lo and behold, we walked into this club. And the first person at the door, I had no idea if it was a woman or if it was a man. I’d never heard of the word drag before. So, I was a little bit confused. [audience laughter] And so, there I was. In this big headgear, high heels that does not really look like the high heels women would wear. [audience laughter] So, I was a little bit confused what was going on here. And I felt like, ​“You know, I know my mom, she goes out every weekend to parties. I know my sisters, they don’t really dress this over the top. This must be some kind of different types of women. [audience laughter] Oh, I’m actually in a party with aliens.” 

And so, we got in. I saw so many people amazingly dressed, and I was like, ​“My God, where really am I?” And then, my friend turned to me and said, ​“We’ve actually brought you to a gay party.” I was like, ​“Gay?” ​“Do you think we don’t know.” And I was like, ​“Really? I’ve never seen this kind of party before.” And he said, ​“Just relax, enjoy yourself and you’ll be fine.” And there the party started. I saw for the first time, men kissing men. I was like, ​“Wow, what is going on here? This is not right. This shouldn’t be happening.” And then, in my quite, how will I put it now, confused state, walked past me, this very cute guy. I think I had my gay moment just about that time. 

And I looked at him and was like, ​“Wow.” And my friend said, ​“Do you think he’s hot?” I said, ​“Well, he looks okay.” And he said, ​“Don’t worry, we’ll get you some drinks. By the time you leave here, we will know whether you are actually straight, gay or a little bit confused.” [audience laughter] So, they, they got me drinking. Possibly 30 minutes into my second drink, I was kissing the guy. [audience laughter] It wasn’t long. I was dancing on the table [audience laughter] and I did not actually stop there. I found myself on the table dancing with a drag queen. 

Now, when I came in, I was straight. When I got there, I was a bit confused because I have no idea. ​“Okay, what really I am?” By the time we were leaving at 04:00 AM, I was as gay as gay can be. [audience laughter] [audience cheers and applause] 

But the most important thing that happened to me that night was the fact that I crossed the Rubicon, I stopped lying to myself, I stopped trying to kiss girls, I stopped deceiving girls and I started being real to myself that actually I can be gay and I can be proud of who I am, and I never looked back since then. Thank you very much.